You and your girl have been dating for almost a year. Everything is going pretty well. You enjoy spending time together and your family really likes her. You guys have even said the “L” word to each other. All the important things that make a good relationship — love, honesty, trust, and respect — are there. But lately, something seems missing. That exciting spark you remember just isn’t there anymore.
It happens to lots of couples, young and old — sometimes a relationship just goes through a lull. But that doesn’t mean you can’t bring back some excitement! Keep in mind that all relationships take work for as long as they last. Your relationship won’t just magically take care of itself. It may require a little extra effort, but if your relationship is important to you, why not give it a shot? Besides, romancing can be fun!
There are hundreds of ways to revive your relationship, so be creative and think about what will be fun for you both. Need some inspiration? Here are a few suggestions!
1. When Nature Calls …
You can watch reruns of Sex and the City on your own time. When you’re with your honey, try to do something active. Whether you live in the city or the ‘burbs, getting up early to see the sunrise or taking a walk in a park or a nearby forest gives you guys time alone together away from everyone else and all your responsibilities. Sometimes couples just need some quiet time!
2. The Way to the Heart is Through the Stomach
Microwave popcorn is hardly a meal. Plan a special lunch or dinner together — something a little more festive than fast food or PB&J! Prepare her favorite meal, or cook an elaborate dish together. Or, if you have some extra cash to spare, take him to a restaurant where you ate when you just started dating, or go someplace you’ve always wanted to try.
3. Memories …
Recreate your first date. Rent the movie you first saw together at the movie theater, or go to the place you first kissed and bask in the romance of it all! “My boyfriend and I met at the beach last summer,” says Cole, 18. “The first warm day we had this year, we went back to the same beach, and it was like we were just meeting all over again!”
4. A Little Something Special
Everyone loves to get gifts, but you don’t have to put a dent in your wallet to give something nice to your special someone. The best gifts are often the ones you put the most effort into. Make her a mix CD of all the songs that remind you of her. If you’re artistic, use your talent to make her something cool. Or take the time to do something for her if she’s too busy to do it herself.
5. Make Plans
There’s nothing wrong with spontaneity, but making plans in advance with your S.O. can build anticipation and get you both excited. Schedule a date together to do something that you both always enjoy, even if it’s just a trip to the movies or the local mall. A bonus if it’s something active, like going for a run or playing tennis — exercising releases endorphins, which are natural feel-good chemicals that your body produces.
6. Surprise!
Many people like surprises. If your guy is one of them, you can give him lots of little surprises. A surprise doesn’t have to be a diamond ring. “My boyfriend used to put chocolate kisses in my pocket every once in a while,” remembers Donna, 16. “It always made me smile.” Surprise her at work. Put a sweet little note in her locker, or get her tickets to a concert of a band she’s really into.
7. DIY
There’s a reason all those do-it-yourself shows on T.V. are so popular. Learn something new together — like how to build a Web site so you can start a blog together. Or if you want to be a bit more adventurous, learn to skateboard or salsa dance.
What Not to Do
1. Don’t Be Boring.
Unless your girlfriend really loves chocolate or stuffed animals, try giving her something a little out of the ordinary — something more personal and more “her.”
2. Don’t Stop.
Giving your relationship a boost isn’t just a one-time thing. Make sure you keep up the effort. That little extra something can go a long way for your relationship.
3. Don’t Force It.
If none of these options seem like “you,” then think about what would come naturally to you that would also appeal to your significant other.
When being a couple starts to feel a little blah, sometimes a little relationship makeover can be all you need to spark things up. But if none of these things seem to improve your dynamic and you’ve invested some effort and time into the relationship, there might be a bigger problem that you need to deal with. So, keep the lines of communication open with your honey and get to the bottom of what’s putting a downer on your relationship.
