Want to have some fun? Say the words “blind date” to your friends. When I said them to mine, boy, did they react! People grimaced or sighed. They shook their heads or got dreamy-eyed. Everyone had an opinion about getting set up. Some said it was an adventure — and they’d do it again in a heartbeat. But others said, “Never again!” Most had stories and advice to share.
Not-So-Great Dates
Kayla is in the “that was my first and last blind date” club. Her “adventurous” friend, Abbie, set her up. She and Abbie met the guys at a restaurant. Abbie’s date insisted everyone go to his place afterward. Kayla was a little sketched out and said, “No way.” She didn’t like her date much anyway. Luckily, she had her own car and was soon headed home.
Kayla had the right idea — if you’re going out with someone you don’t know, it’s best to meet in a public place and take friends along. And don’t forget to bring “mad money” — take some cash and your own transportation. If you two don’t get along, you don’t have to depend on your date for a ride home. Another suggestion? Meet during the day and do something casual, like going for coffee — then you’re not stuck for a whole dinner-and-movie night if you know right off the bat it’s not going to work out.
Kayla adds, “Blind dates aren’t the time to indulge in too much of anything: too many demands from your date, too much privacy, or too much intimacy.” And that goes double for alcohol.
JL puts in her bid for the Most Wretched Blind Date Award. She was 18 when she got set up for a date on a three-hour cruise, which turned out to be about as much fun as the sinking of the Titanic. “It’s hard to leave a boat if you’re miserable!” she says. Her number one piece of blind dating advice is “NEVER go someplace you can’t leave!” Definitely don’t go on a blind date where you need to swim to get away!
Beyond First Impressions
Well, my expectations were tall. But he wasn’t. The “perfect guy for you” my friend set me up with barely came to my shoulder. Her description, “cute,” was a little optimistic. “Pretty average” was way more like it. So, I was disappointed. But then — a happy ending! Well, at least a decent ending. We ended up having fun, Jer and I. He turned out to be smart and witty. He took me to my first-ever coffeehouse where I choked down my first-ever coffee. There was no romance there, but that was OK.
My personal blind date advice:
- Keep your expectations reasonable.
- Give her or him the benefit of the doubt.
- Look to see the person beneath the exterior.
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Your buddy has just the person for you? What are your chances? Ask yourself this — do you usually click with your friend’s friends? And what kind of people does your friend usually date? These are clues to what kind of person your friend might have in mind for you.
Now, say you actually wish someone would set you up. How do you go about it? First of all, let your friends know: “I wouldn’t mind meeting someone nice to date. Do you know anyone who’s available?”
If the answer is yes, ask your friend to put in a good word for you. If your potential blind date accepts the challenge, suggest some date options. Double dating with your friend takes some pressure off. But a group thang with several folks removes that pressure entirely.
Success!
Blind dating is not for everyone, and some people are scared off by the prospect of bad jokes, awkward silences, and nothing-in-common disconnects. Mark, now 23, had his first and last blind date his freshman year in college. “Some mutual friends set us up and said we’d be great together,” he says. “Our first date was sort of uncomfortable. But I figured I’d give it another chance, so I asked her to go to a concert with me the next week.”
Turns out their second date was MUCH better. “Once we admitted how weird the whole thing felt, it broke the ice and we started having fun together.” So much fun, in fact, that they’re still together! Mark’s advice for fellow blind daters? “Give it a shot. You have nothing to lose!”
