While some of the problems you and your partner might be experiencing are your own unique problems, some problems occur quite frequently in relationships. Learning how to deal with these problems will help you and your partner have a happy, long-lasting relationship.
Common Relationship Problems
There are a plethora of problems that could pop up in any relationship, but here are a few that are quite common:
Conflict
Every relationship will have conflict
at some point, but how you deal with it can make or break your relationship.
First of all, never say things in the heat of the moment. If you are upset, you need to take a minute by yourself to calm down. Saying things when you’re really upset will often lead to unnecessary hurt feelings and feelings of regret once you’ve cooled down.
Another thing to remember is to deal with the conflict in a timely manner. It’s an age old saying ‘don’t go to bed angry’, but it really holds merit. The longer you allow something to stew in your head without resolve, the bigger a deal it will become.
Communication
It’s amazing how many people have been married for years, but do not have a clue how to communicate with each other. It’s often easy to see it from an outsider’s perspective – the two partners are walking around with fake smiles on their faces, going through the motions of being together, but it’s not real.
Holding in your true feelings is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship. In order for a relationship to last, both partners have to express how they’re feeling, even if they think it will upset their partner. The longer you hold something inside, the worse it will become in your head.
So tell your partner how you’re feeling as soon as you feel it. If he hurt your feelings last week, but you didn’t tell him, chances are you’ve still got it at the forefront of your mind. Now he leaves his shoes at the door instead of the closet and you’re thinking “ungrateful bas#^$”. Release your pent up anger by gently telling him how he made you feel. It will feel like 50 pounds has been taken off your shoulders.
Money
Oooooh money… it makes the world go ‘round, right? It’s unfortunate that money plays such a big role in our lives, but because it does, it can be a major cause of stress. Going through financial troubles can destroy relationships.
It is always very important to be honest with your partner about how much money you are spending. If money is tight, sit down together to make a budget – and be sure you both stick to it. Finding out your spouse has been spending all your savings is like the express train to divorce in many cases.
Trust
Being able to trust your partner is very important. Some people argue it is the most important aspect of a relationship. The fact is, though, it’s tied in pretty tight with good communication.
The first step to being able to trust your partner is having open communication lines. Everybody has trust issues to a certain degree. It’s unnatural if your mind never wanders over to ‘I wonder if he’s really at work right now…” The trick is to not let it wander there very often. So how do you know you can trust your partner? Sorry, but you don’t. The only thing you can do, is be completely open with each other. The more you talk and communicate, the more trust you will build between each other.
If your partner is always holding things back, you will get an uneasy feeling like he is hiding something. He may just be hiding the fact that he doesn’t like it when you leave your teabags on the table, but you don’t know that. That’s why open communication is key.
Sex
Ah, sex. Sex is a great way to release stress that is built up between partners. If you want to hit his head against the wall for forgetting to take out the trash AGAIN, go upstairs into the bedroom and ride him hard. Take out your aggressions there.
In the same way that it can help a relationship, however, it can also hurt it. If things aren’t okay in the bedroom, that can be seen in other areas of the relationship. It is important to keep the fire lit in the bedroom. Try new things, and keep it interesting. I know that in long-term relationships, you both have jobs and other things to do, so it may be hard to find the time or energy to have sex. Schedule a time if you have to, but don’t let the spark die. It’s important!
House Chores
Might be hard to believe, but house chores can cause huge disagreements with couples. Who is responsible for what? Why isn’t it done when you want it to be? House chores should not cause as much stress in a relationship as it does, so sit down with your partner and decide who would prefer to do what chores. Then make an easy schedule if need be. Once you’ve both gotten into a routine of doing your share around the house, things will be a lot cleaner, and you’ll both be a lot happier.
Relationship advice from Sammi Maria
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