Dealing with rejection

Dealing with rejection sucks. There is really no polite way to say it and unfortunately it’s a part of the dating terrain.

You know the routine. You meet someone, you feel that instant connection, and you exchange numbers. It’s going swimmingly so far. After all you got their number right? You make the first call and talk for a while. You seem to have some things in common; you laugh and joke, and set up that first date. You hang up the phone and think, “This could be the one!” That is of course if you are looking for the one.

Maybe you go to dinner, a little dancing, and even a few drinks. Doesn’t matter really; you have an awesome time! But as they say, all good things must come to an end. They kiss you goodnight, tell you they had a great time and make sure to tell you that you are the coolest person they have met in a while. So much so they really want to hang out again soon…

And you wait… and wait for them to call because you don’t want to appear desperate or too forward. After a while, you try to call them and get nothing but their voicemail. Of course, they never plan on calling you back. We’ve all been there. (Some of us more than we care to share.) At the time it doesn’t seen like anything could be worse than being shot down before you even get started and without explanation. But there are some things you can do to make dealing with rejection a little easier:

NEVER go into or leave a first date thinking that this could be the one . You’re setting yourself up for rejection. It’s great to be into someone so soon but they don’t have to know it. People have a keen sense for desperation. Take it easy and try not to be overly aggressive. Keep the compliments to a minimum and the conversation light. As long as you continue to remind yourself that this is a first date, it will make it easier if it happens to be the last.

DON’T expect anything. Go into it with the mind set that you are meeting people; you’re just hanging out having a good time with (hopefully) good company. When you take the pressure off, they may be more inclined to call you again and you won’t be sulking later if they don’t.

BE confident (not cocky). So it’s been three weeks and they still haven’t returned your call. Big deal! You can’t let one rejection ruin your confidence or self esteem. Get back out there and meet some more people. Dating is supposed to be fun not do or die.

DON’T fall into the dating black hole. Going out with too many people and getting rejected each time in a short period can be self esteem suicide. If you’ve been out with a number of people and it didn’t work out, take a break. Do some things for yourself and maybe in a couple of months try getting back out there.

Dealing with rejection does not have to turn into depression. There are way too many people in this world to let yourself get caught up with those few who missed out. Remember that the way people treat us, especially people we really don’t know, is never as important as how we react to it.